7 Ways to
Love Your Mother
John 19:26-19:27
Introduction: Mary witnessed Jesus crucifixion
from the foot of His cross. For a moment think about how she must’ve felt?
Then Jesus looks to John and says, (I paraphrase here) take care of her, and
looks at his mother and says, let him stand in my place as your son. John lived
a very long life, and by all accounts I believe he took care of Mary until she
went to heaven.
Jesus was on the cross, He bore the weight of the sins of the whole world on
His shoulders, yet He made sure His mother was taken care of after His work was
done! As God, Jesus dealt w/ eternal matters, but as a man, He showed all of us
today how important it is to take care of and love our mothers!
You cannot willfully and knowingly wrong your mother and be right with God!
That doesn’t mean you cannot disagree on matters, but you cannot knowingly,
hurt, harm or have hard feelings toward your mother or anyone for that matter and
be right with God. I believe this is especially true of the parent/child
relationship.
If your mother is still alive, regardless of
your and her age, I want to show you seven ways to love your mother:
1. Love her verbally.
Especially men have the philosophy—I don’t have to say I love you, you already
know it. I have told you before; if I change my mind I’ll let you know! Or, I
SHOW love, instead of say it…and that may be true, but a woman needs to hear
the words, “I Love You!”
Mothers need to hear it, Children need to hear it and spouses need to hear it
too saying it makes you more of a man, not less of one!
(Illus.) DEAR ABBY: I enlisted shortly after
On our first date, I told her I was going to marry her. I did, 18 months later,
while on a 10-day R-and-R leave from
After more than 57 years of marriage and two children, my beloved
"Mary" died five days before Christmas. Although we agreed that our
ashes were to be scattered over the mountains, I found I could not part with
hers.
While Mary was alive, she would frequently say, "You don’t know how much I
love you." I’d reply, "Likewise." I never said, "I love
you." Now her ashes are on my dresser, where I tell her several times a
day how much I love her, but it’s too late. Although I wrote poetry to her, I could
not bring myself to say the three words I knew she wanted most to hear.
As my dearest was dying and we thought she was comatose, I told her,
"There aren’t enough words to tell you how much I love you." A few
hours later, she whispered, "Not enough words" and died.
The reason I’m writing is to urge men to express their feelings while their
loved ones are alive. I don’t know why, but many men are reluctant to express
the depth of their feelings. -- MISSING MARY IN
Again I say our spouses need to hear it, our children need to hear it…our
mothers need to hear it also!
Some men would say, I’m just not turned that way…then it’s time you turn
around! “I’m just not comfortable”…then learn to live with being a little
uncomfortable!
Ladies, if you have
a spouse, a son, a daughter, a son in law, a daughter in law, a mother, a
father, an in-law and they are saying “I love you” and you cannot bring
yourself to repeat those words, you have some repenting to do as well. Hanging
on to hard feelings keeps you separated from God and those who are wanting to
say I love you.
If we want our
children to grow up being born again Christians who are self sufficient and
following God’s guidance, then we can’t micro manage their lives we must let
God have them. Likewise if you have become that Christian who is self
sufficient and follows God guidance then you have a lot to thank your parents
for, today is Mom’s day, don’t forget her any day but especially today.
Not only can you love your mother verbally you can…
2. Love her physically.
When’s the last time you gave Mom a big hug w/ out her asking for it…or a kiss
on the cheek, or just sat on the couch
and visited without being worried about time?
She’s the first person who ever touched you…she wrapped you up in her womb for
months, and you came out and her first priority was to hold you, and she
cuddled you, stroked your head, rubbed your feet, held your little cheeks
against her, gave you a finger to grasp…in love she did all these things!
When you were little she could say, “give me sugar”, and you’d pucker up and
she’d accept your wet, sloppy kiss and even say thank you! You give her bear
hugs so tight she didn’t have to hold on to you…you’d just cling to her as she
walked around!
She changed your diapers, potty trained you, and held the Kleenex for you to
blow your nose! She wiped food off of your face years longer than she should
have had to!
She may have had to
hand you off to another, because her life may have endured some heavy changes,
but she deserves your touch and should never have to give that up completely!
It would mean more to her than flowers or candy, or eating out, or a diamond
necklace [well, let’s not go too far!]
Have you ever been to a nursing home and noticed how welcomed you are by all
the ladies who live there. Ever gave any thought to why? They are hungry for
attention, love, affection and for someone to just spend a little time with
them. Ya know what, they are mothers too, too often they are forgotten mothers
and that is a sin.
Physically, verbally…
3. Love her patiently.
Mothers have an incredible job w/ no compensation. No position in the business
world compares to the physical, emotional, and spiritual commitment Mom has.
No Occupation
She rises early and through her tasks she begins to race.
She cooks the meals as best she may and scrubs the children’s faces
While schoolbooks, lunches, homework too, all need consideration...
And yet the census man insists
She has— “No Occupation”
When breakfast dishes all are done
She bakes a pudding, maybe.
She cleans the rooms up, one by one,
With one eye watching baby.
The mending pile she then attacks
by way of variation.
And yet the census man insists
She has — “No Occupation.”
She irons for a little while, and then presses pants for Daddy.
She welcomes with a cheery smile returning children from school.
A hearty dinner next she cooks (no time for relaxation),
and yet the census man insists
She has—“No Occupation.”
Don’t ever make the mistake of asking a lady, Do you work, or stay at home? The
only thing worse you can ask is when she’s due if you’re not 100% sure she’s
expecting! And many ladies today have to work on top of the full time job they
already have.
Here’s the point, in spite of all she does for us, we often become impatient
with her…we get so used to her taking care of things we come to expect it and
are outraged that “those clothes are still dirty?” / that’s not ironed? / You’re
out of my favorite cookies? / You know I like that over rice, where is it?
She’s picking you up at school because you don’t like to ride the bus, but
she’s scolded for being 5 minutes late!
Love Mom patiently. Because she’s tender to your needs is no reason to take
advantage of her, its reason to be patient and to love her all the more!
Teenagers: it is unfair and even cruel for you to show more kindness,
consideration, patience to your friends and your friend’s mothers than your own
mother
If you treated your friends like you treat your mom you wouldn’t have friends,
and if you treated their mom like you do yours their mom wouldn’t let their kid
have anything to do with you! Your mom deserves better…she’s not a rug to wipe
every negative thought on!
For us adults w/ living mothers: Love her patiently.
Dobson read on Focus on Family Radio—letter from 80 yr. old woman on her
birthday:
To all my children:
I suppose my upcoming birthday started my thoughts along these lines...This is
a good time to tell you that what I truly want are things I can never get
enough of, yet they are free. I want the intangibles.
I would like for you to come and sit with me, and for you to be relaxed. We can
talk, or we can be silent. I would just like for us to be together.
I need your patience when I don’t hear what you say the first time. I know how
tiresome it is to always be repeating, but sometimes I must ask you to repeat.
I need your patience when I think too much about the past, with my slowness and
my set ways. I want you to be tolerant with what the years have done to me
physically.
Please be understanding about my personal care habits. I spill things. I lose
things. I get unduly excited when I try to figure out my bank statements. I
can’t remember what time to take my medication, or if I took it already. I take
too many naps. Sometimes sleep helps to pass the day.
Well, there you have it: Time, Patience, and Understanding. Those are priceless
gifts that I want. Finally, in his letter, the Apostle Paul wrote, “I can do
all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” I know I can, too! It’s a
wonderful feeling to know His eye is on the sparrow and I know He cares for me.
I guess being old isn’t so bad after all!
Love,
Mom
Love her Physically, Verbally, Patiently and…
4. Love her attentively.
Mothers listen as you pour out your heart…she has a sympathetic ear, and always
has…and even as an adult you may have gone to her when you want someone who
will really listen and understand…and she’ll should always be willing to tell
you the truth, not what you want to hear but what you need to hear.
A Godly mother is
attentive to the needs of her children and family, its time the family learns
to be attentive to Mom.
As our parents age they may have many fears / anxieties…may we treat them as
we’d hope to be treated when we are in their shoes!
Physically, Verbally, Patiently, Attentively, and…
5. Love her gratefully.
She needs a sincere thank you, and not just today, but from a genuinely
thankful heart when least expected!
As young adults we have all been told “You all are living the best days of your
life right now, because you have your children and your parents.” It causes us
to realize 2 truths: one about our parents: and how we won’t always have them. And
another about our children (one day they will be repeating to us the way they
see us handle our parents) let’s be the kind of parents God wants us to be!
Physically,
Verbally, Patiently, Attentively, Gratefully, and..
6. Love her generously.
There’s nothing too good for her, we could never repay the true love of a
mother, but we ought to die trying before she does! A true mother doesn’t spend
on herself unless all the children’s needs were met…she could easily do
without, and now shouldn’t she enjoy some things of life! Maybe you can’t
afford much but for a mother it doesn’t take much to show her you love her!
She cleared her schedule so she can run you around…she gave up opportunities so
you could have opportunities!
Love her Physically, Verbally, Patiently, Attentively, Gratefully, Generously,
and last of all…
7. Love her honorably.
Exodus 20:12
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which
the Lord thy God giveth thee.
This is binding as long as your mother lives. Another command says children,
obey…non-binding when you leave home, but “honor” is different! It has been said
“If the husband is the head of the home, then the mother is head of the
heart... and don’t break her heart!”
Some may truthfully say “Yeah, but my mother wasn’t honorable!” Well, the Bible
says nothing about that qualification…it only asks, is she your mother!
By the way, it’s the only one of the 10 commandments which includes a built-in
promise of a blessing!
When God created mothers
When the good Lord created mothers, He was into His sixth day of overtime, when
an angel appeared and said,
"You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."
The Lord replied, "have you seen the specs on this order? She has to be
completely washable, but not plastic; Have 180 moveable parts ... all
replaceable; Run on black coffee and leftovers; Have a lap that disappears when
she stands up; A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a broken
heart; And six pair of hands."
The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pair of hands? No
way!"
"It’s not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord.
"It’s the three pair of eyes that mothers have to have.
"One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks ’What are you kids
doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another in the back of her head that
sees what she shouldn’t, but what she needs to know, and of course the ones in
front that look at a child when he goofs up and say, ’I understand and I love
you,’ Without so much as uttering a word. "I’m so close to creating
something so close to myself. Already, I have one who heals herself when she is
sick ...can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger ...and get a nine
year old to stand under a shower. Not only can she think, she can reason and
compromise."
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the mother.
"There’s a leak," she pronounced, "I told you that you were
trying to put too much in this model."
"That’s not a leak," said the Lord, "it’s a tear."
"What is it for?" asked the angel.
The Lord replied, "It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness
and pride."
"You’re a genius!" shouted the angel.
With a somber look on his face, the Lord said, "I didn’t put it
there."
How about a hand now for the crowning jewel of God’s creation: our mothers!
Conclusion: I hope you have had the opportunity this
morning to reflect on Mom. I hope your heart is in condition to say “I love you
Mom.” Can you walk away today honestly saying I love Mom; Physically, Verbally, Patiently, Attentively, Gratefully, Generously,
and Honorably? You may not be able to live in the same town as your Mom or
your Mom may have made some bad decisions while raising you. If you examined
you life as a parent you will find many mistakes you have already made, if
you’re not a parent yet, just wait your time is coming, its not if you make bad
decisions it’s when you make them. You’re not perfect and neither is Mom and
its time both of you realized it, why not let it begin with you, this morning
today, Mothers day 2011. Mothers are you’re children trying to tell you they
love you? Are you expecting them to meet your expectations? You have raised
your children to stand on their own two feet, is it time to let them do it? It
would be great is families could live close by from birth to death but
sometimes that isn’t possible, Gods call and sometimes life in general takes us
different directions but that doesn’t mean you’re not loved. If your mother is
alive make sure she knows you love her, if your children are trying to tell you
they love you don’t turn them away, let them honor you on your day, Mothers day!
Close as God leads…
Let’s pray: Lord, help us never to be too busy for mom…if you could take time
and great effort for her on the cross in your death, help us to love her while
we have her in our life!